In that moment he calmly responded "dearest son, you must'n worry for you will find your path and true love".
You see, weeks leading up to this exact moment I was ecstatic and filled with excitemnt because I had been given several gifts from my relatives for my birthday and was FINALLY allowed to live in their neighborhood. I'm sure you all are wondering what the big deal is.. but these gifts were not just any ordinary gifts and this neighborhood was not just any neighborhood! This neighborhood was an out of world experience where all gods, goddesses, queens, kings, nymphs, and Demi-gods lived, here they overlooked human activities.. and here is where I found my true love.
Pull up a chair and have a seat, I'm going to tell you a story.
So it all started with one warm and sunny day when I noticed something fishy happening off in a distance, so naturally I decided to approach it. As I neared the site in question I noticed that there were dead fishes and birds sprawled across the beach. I continue to approach this unforgiving scene and low and behold the damn ocean splits in two! I'm in my flight or fight mode but I remembered my father saying that I needed to man up if I ever expected to get into his neighborhood. I then also remembered the amazing gifts that my family had given me and that they had told me to use them if I ever was in despair.
I decided that this was a moment of despair as this 5 headed sea monster was lunging at me, open mouth, bugged eye, and all!
I pull out my handy gifts: one a stick, another a liquid in some weird shell, and the other a ball to catch Pokemon? WHAT?!
Throwing the stick I see nothing happened so I throw the weird liquid in a shell but once again nothing happened! My last resort is to throw this weird Pokemon ball so I do! I throw far and hard and hit the weird monster with it, all while holding my breath to the point of almost passing out.
Somehow, someway this weird Pokemon ball worked and this 5 headed sea monster was trapped in it!
Within seconds my father, his brothers, and his sisters appear in front of me to take me to my new nieghborhood that I wanted so badly to live in! Alas, I'm finally there!
So one night out with the boys I noticed a girl from across the room, she's wearing some amazing makeup with cat eyes, and had medium length black hair that was straight.. her outfit caught my attention, it was like nothing I had ever seen before. I decide to approach her and ask her her name. She tells me its Cleopatra.
Feeling myself because I had captured some weird sea creature, been admitted to the new 'hood, and turned 21, so I ask her for a dance. She agrees!
We danced, laughed, and talked the night away so I decided to ask her out on a date. She agreed again! I'm on a roll!
Fastforward to just this morning and I think that things are going great with Cleopatra, we're even planning on going to visit a tropical island soon. Then this morning she sends me a messenger pigeon telling me things aren't working out and that it's me, not her.. she tells me that I will never be loved because I'm just not loveable. I'm in shock so I call my dad and this is full circle to how we got here.
I still don't know why I'm not loveable or why my father says that it's for the best, that I must complete a quest. Can you help me on this quest?
Authors Notes: The original story from where I got my idea for this one is Indra and Arjuna. In the original story Arjuna (Indra's son) is given gifts from the gods, taken tot celestial city where they all reside and is cursed to never love. Arjuna then goes to fight demons and beings from the underworld, he succeeds, and then continues on to the underworld where he again wins. Upon defeating the creatures of the underworld he is given another gift from his father.
Source: Indian Myth and Legend by Donald A. Mackenzie (1913). Found here!
Hi Nicole,
ReplyDeleteGreat job remixing this story. It was a really creative, fun, and clever read! I also love the image that you picked. I love it when people get so creative with their story writing. Keep up the good work and I look forward to reading more of your stories. Have a great rest of the weekend and enjoy your semester!
Hi Nicole, your story was very entertaining; I liked the part about the random ball for catching pokemon. What happened to make the main character unlovable to Cleopatra? This is explained in the other story in your author's note, so maybe expand more on this part of the story. This was a very creative story!
ReplyDeleteHi Nicole! You do a great job of bringing in a feisty personality to this character, and I had to re-read the story to remember that they were in a life threatening situation! You made them so casual when retelling the story that it seems almost odd to remember that they were not win an ordinary part of life. Overall, this was a great story and I really like the spins that you put on it.
ReplyDeleteHey Nicole,
ReplyDeleteYour story was very entertaining, it was fun, different and energetic. You did a great job at giving the character a feisty personality. The image you chose really matches the personality of feisty that you gave the character. Keep up the good work, and I look forward to reading your future stories! Have a great rest of the Semester!
HI Nicole, Your story was very intriguing and had me hooked from the beginning. Your story had a lot of energy and your writing portrayed the emotions of the story very well. The way you wrote your character gave me such a great depiction of how they are and how exactly their personality is, good job! I liked reading your author's note and seeing all you mixed up from the previous story. Overall, this story is fun and super interesting!
ReplyDeleteHey Nicole! I love how this story helps us understand what Arjuna's personality is and what his father's expectations are for him as a man. I love the idea of this exclusive neighborhood in your story! I think it would be really cool to see what the neighborhood looked like and what features it had besides the people that lived there that made Arjuna want to live there so bad!
ReplyDeleteHi Nicole. I liked you narrator. His voice was interesting. However I didn't know he was Arjuna until I read the author's note. I think you can make that clear in the actual story. It is clear you put some thought into this story, and it was really fun and quirky. I really enjoyed reading it.
ReplyDeleteHi I like your story! The beginning of this story sounded grim: "Oh father what ever shall I do? I have been deemed unlovable by the woman that I love more than life!" I felt sad for “I”. Oh wow.. The neighborhood sounds really fancy and exciting with all those fascinating characters. “I” is got to be extremely lucky to get all five monsters at the same time (I’ve played pokemon, but it never happen to me). It’s good that Cleopatra agreed to have fun time with him. Thank you for a great story!
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