Remus calmly responded. "Well you see dear brother, our beloved city of Baia fell captive to the sea god, we lost all hope and retreated to the forest where we felt at home. While we were gathering ourselves and discussing our next move, you fell victim to a hunter who mistook you for a game animal. I fell victim to Glycon, the snake god."
In that instant all memories returned to Romulus and flashed in front of his eyes.
"What is wrong dear brother?" Remus asks Romulus.
Romulus responds, "It is because of me that we are here," he continues, "you see, if I had never told my loyal citizens to go to the shoreline and take offerings to appease the underworld god, we would not be here. It is my fault that they went crazy upon drinking the forbidden Meade. It is my fault that they decided the offerings needed to appease the underworld god, that they believed those offerings were meant to be that of human flesh and blood... of their own kin. It is my fault that my kingdom, my city, and my people have fallen to the sea god. Oh brother, what have I done?!"
Suddenly, Romulus recalls that he as five wives. With great concern he asks Remus, "brother, what has become of my wives?"
Remus responds, "Romulus, they are fine, our dear friend Hercules was sent to look after them. Hercules will stop at nothing to protect them."
Within that moment, knowing that his wives were OK, Romulus was finally able to be at peace and accept his fate for he was in the heavenly afterlife with his dear brother and his people. Here he was able to once again rule again, free of pain and harm.
Authors note: The original story from where I got my idea can be found here. This story from Indian Myth and Legend by Donald A. Mackenize (1913) discusses the death of Krishna. In the original story Krishna gets a vision from the underworld god at night that something bad was going to happen. Krishna had his people retreat to the shoreline to perform devotions to the sea god and while they were doing so they opted to drink wine, which was forbidden. While they drank this forbidden wine they lost their minds and began to violently fight, killing each other. While all of this was happening Krishna and his brother, Balarama retreated to the forest, where both died. Krishna by arrow in the foot (his only weak spot), and Balarama by world serpeant. In the original story Krishna had Arjuna sent after so that he could return and look after his wives, who also died. Arjuna then continued on to the city of Indraprastha
Hi Nicole!
ReplyDeleteI just finished your story, and I really like it. It is very clever how you modified the story to include a different mythology. I would have never thought of that. Even though it is a story about death, you managed to keep it entertaining. Overall, it is a very good story. I look forward to reading your next story.
Hi Nicole,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your story ‘Romulus and Remus’. Your started your story really well which is the hardest part. At least for me I can never start a story out well. Right when I read the first sentence I wanted to read more and see what the story was about. I like how you included the mythology story into your own story.
Hi Nicole, this is such a clever story. I like that you included Hercules in this story, even though he is from an entirely different set of beliefs/myths. I also like that one of your main characters is named Remus. It makes me think of Harry Potter. Overall, Good job with this story and I look forward to reading more!
ReplyDeleteHey there Nicole! I have to admit that this is one of my favorite stories that I have read in this class so far! You are such a witty person and that shows through your writing. I loved the way that you were able to incorporate another sort of element to the story with Hercules and I feel that you still were able to catch the overall idea of the original story despite the changes. Keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteHi Nicole, I really enjoyed reading your story. It have read another story that joined greek mythology and both were really good. It is a really cool idea. Your storyline was interesting and kept me engaged throughout. I like the names you used because it helped make the connection with the characters. I am looking forward to reading some more of your stories.
ReplyDeleteHey Nicole,
ReplyDeleteThis was a great story and I really enjoyed being able to read it. Through your writing it is easy to tell just how great of a writer you are and it is very easy to see. It was good that you were able to keep the original idea of the story intact while still changing it to suit what you wanted to do. I am looking forward to reading more of your stories this semester.